Mayoral candidates not satisfying everyone

Former Tribune sports editor Steve Moseley emailed this gem, reprinted here with his permission:

Do I understand this correctly...Mr. Mangold's mayoral platform is 4-feet deep at the shallow end while Mr. Sapp stubbornly centers his candidacy around this radical, madcap notion that 3.5 is better?

Of course the searing injustice in all this is that, once more, those of us in the 3.75-foot constituency get short shrift. Must we — the Proud 3.75s — go entirely unrepresented? Again? Apparently so. How very sad for for America.

Best,
Steve

If your sarcasm detector is on the fritz, please note that the comments are quite tongue-in-cheek.